the ache inside of you
by kathleenfergie
Summary: they give her to a golden girl with curly locks and dimples, who doesn't smile often, but when she does there is no other light in the room. she opens her palm for Lily's hand, dragging her up to the tower prison she reigns over. (princess in a tower/dragon guardian au oneshot)


omg i'm so sorry i love angst too much man

idk how to label this au, but basically emma's parents put her in a tower as a baby and when she was old enough, lily became her dragon. kissing ensued. mal is sad. mal is always sad lol.

hope you like. it's kind of drabble-esque, but i'm into it.

the pov switches with each new bit so try not to get confuseddd

don't own shit. still wanna be a dragon

* * *

i.

they give her to a golden girl with curly locks and dimples, who causes mischief at every moment she is left alone. she doesn't smile often, but when she does there is no other light in the room and you remember what that was like, so long ago. you shuffle your shy daughter toward the princess and she opens her palm for Lily's hand, dragging her up to the tower prison she reigns over.

your small, terrified girl looks back at you one last time and there is no fire on this plain that could burn the hurt from your heart. you fly home to an empty castle that so many have left you behind in.

ii.

you don't like heights, you've decided, claws tightening on the shingles of Emma's tower. they slide off and clang onto the balcony below and your princess giggles, gripping a horn tighter.

"let's fly!" she shouts and you snort at her, a very obvious objection.

she isn't allowed to leave and you aren't allowed to let her. you've already disobeyed half your orders by letting her on your back and out of her tower room, but god she's beautiful and sweet and ropes you into too many things.

"come on, Lily!" she pleads, heels digging into your side. you turn your head back at her and exhale smoke in her direction. "prick."

you aren't sure if she can see it, but you're smiling, despite the terrifying height and fear of lashing if her parents ever found out.

iii.

you're tracing the lines of her stomach as the sun streams in your bedroom window. Lily laughs softly as you dip your hand to her hip, where she's ticklish.

"let's go out today," you whisper into the curve of her waist, kissing it softly. "go see those hills I've been staring at for seventeen years."

"you know we can't, Emma," Lily sighs, sitting up. she pushes her dark hair off her face and frowns. "soon, we'll fly. I promise."

"you've been saying that since we were nine."

she takes your cheeks in her palms, brown eyes boring into yours. "I meant it then and I mean it now. when your parents come, we'll fly." it's her turn to press kisses into your skin and you smile despite the ache inside of you, the longing to be free.

her lips are on your mouth when the alarm blares, the both of you groaning at the interruption.

"don't go," you cry as she moves to leave. "he'll go away eventually."

her hands are back on your face and her eyes are far too serious for your liking.

"you're mine, Emma," she tells you, thumbs on your cheeks. she kisses your forehead softly and you hum.

you watch her dive off the balcony and transform, wondering when it was that she got over her fear of heights.

iv.

the week before her eighteenth birthday is the worst week of your life. you've already celebrated yours, the small ceremony held in Emma's parlour with a meagre cake and no candles. you yearned for your mother the entire day, trying to remember the lines of her face for the thousandth time since you were taken away.

Emma hasn't seen her parents since birth and you can't imagine who would put a baby in a tower with only fairies to take care of her. had there been princes coming for her that early, too? who protected her then?

she spends the week waiting for them by the window, the hope inside her soul crushing and beautiful all at the same time. you can barely tear her away long enough to eat and she doesn't sleep well, nights full of pacing and wringing her hands together. you braid her long hair and pet her head, kissing her golden crown in hopes of soothing her fears.

"what if they don't come?" she confides in you the morning of her birthday, hands shaking.

"they will," you hush her. "they will come."

they do.

v.

you've seen portraits of your parents over the years, the fairies conjuring them for you when asked, but they are far more breathtaking than you imagined. you can tell immediately which one's looks you favour, the tall man's smile blinding. they both ride white horses and you watch them come down the lane through a window.

Lily squeezes your hand as she leads you toward the heavy tower doors. they haven't been opened in eighteen years because your dragon is quite good at her job, and you almost wince at the groan the wood emits.

"go to them," she urges, giving your back a light push.

"I can't." you tremble and grip her hand tighter.

"you'll do great, Emma," she promises and you step tentatively toward the couple that are holding each other mere feet away. they take you in their arms and home has never felt more like this. the only thing missing is Lily, but as you turn back to look at her, she's already gone back inside, the heavy doors shut.

vi.

they take her from you and leave you in the dust, both of you crying out against restraints. she's got a wedding to get to and you, an empty tower. you kiss her over and over again in the sanctity of your bedroom, strong hands on either side of her head like always. holding her gaze, whisperingI love you, I love you, again and again so that she can remember what it sounds like.

"please don't go," she whimpers and it is unlike the teasing words she'd say when a prince would come knocking. it is raw and painful and there are too many tears in your eyes.

"I love you, Emma," you say fiercely, hugging her against your wet chest. she sobs loudly and you don't know how long the two of you stand there, crying into each other. "I love you."

"I love you," Emma says back, voice muffled.

they take her and you are left alone to scream into the stones of her once glittering tower. you transform and rip apart the bricks with your claws, setting it all on fire in your anger. after it all, you are left naked and crying at the base of a fifty foot pire, palming your heart to get rid of the sick feeling.

vii.

she comes home a decade later looking like she has survived a war. you wonder how long it took for her to find your castle, hidden away in thorns and brambles. you heard about the girl's wedding and birth announcement, her smiling husband sketched onto posters.

you take Lily in your arms and she cries for her golden girl. you remember a queen with dark hair that you cried over far too much, now dead.

"it's alright, darling," you say, rubbing her back.

"it doesn't feel alright," she sobs and god, it hurts, it hurts so much that you had to leave her in that lonely tower with that sunshine girl.

"I know." what will become of you, two dragons with hearts torn out?

"will it ever feel alright?"

"no, darling," you tell her softly. "it won't.

 _fin._


End file.
